Episode 2 Transformation Tuesday - Something is Coming
Episode 2 Recovering Trash Person 8.3.21
Transformation Tuesday – Something is Coming
Hello! Welcome to episode 2 of the Recovering Trash Person
podcast! Today is Transformation Tuesday, the focus? The Shift.
Some of you may already know what I’m talking about, but for
those who don’t, there is a school of thought that believes the entire world is
experiencing a collective shift in consciousness. There is talk about a 3D
reality and shifting into the 4th and 5th dimensions. And
like many of you may be right now, I was skeptical. We have lived through so
many “predictions” of major shifts, the world ending, apocalypse theories (think
Y2K and 12.12.12 and the Mayan calendar) that it is easy to dismiss this as
another social media trend or spiritual “woowoo” stuff. That is until you begin
to experience the shift itself.
I think we can all agree 2020 was a fucking shitshow and it
gave all of pause to consider what we value in our lives. For many of us, we
had to make hard decisions about work in regards to our personal and family safety.
At 39 years old, I never thought I would ever live to see a global pandemic and
would be faced with these decisions. 2020 not only brought about Covid, but it
also gave many of us the time and space to see and consider life outside of our
own microcosm. I am ashamed to admit, it wasn’t until I was home sick with a
stomach bug in May 2020 that I really started to tap into and give a shit about
the world around me.
I always thought I was an ally and someone who would fight
for injustice, but I wasn’t. Not really. My actions didn’t match my values,
because I was so engrossed in my own daily shit, it wasn’t until I was forced
to stop the hamster wheel that I gave a shit. I’m glad there was an awakening
and I wish I had experienced it sooner. That shift propelled a massive
perspective change in me that continues to educate and challenge me.
In the past 16 months, the shift has been revealing itself
to many of us in spirituality, synchronicity, repeating numbers and signs,
among many many other avenues. What does this all mean? Truthfully, I can’t
know for sure. I’m only human like you and I can only comprehend a fraction of
what is happening to not only our world but our universe as well. But, I can
share my personal experiences and what I’m learning day to day.
I am using an article I found through Aconsciousrethink.com
that describes the 12 signs that one is experiencing a spiritual and reality shift.
(Link included in show notes)
I’m going to review each of the 12 signs and discuss how I have experienced them in my own life and
I encourage you to really think about your own experiences not only in the past
16 months since the pandemic started, but over your lifetime.
The first sign
is “you have a softer energy”:
This could mean one is experiencing less anger and aggression
or expressing those feelings in a way that is more authentic to their
experience and more compassionate to others involved. I, too, have noticed
times where I have felt anger but not reacting in the way I would have
previously. For example, there was an incident where I was left out of a
Facebook post, everyone who was present was tagged except for me. I felt hurt,
left out, angry. Pre-shift, I would have complained to anyone who would listen,
taking any and all validation for my feelings, assume it was intentional and
potentially passively take it out on that person without any explanation.
Instead, I texted the individual directly and simply said “Hey, why didn’t you
include me the Facebook post? It really hurt my feelings.” Pre-shift admitting my
feelings were hurt would have been too scary and vulnerable, it would have been
easier for me to react passive aggressively and that could have tainted my
relationship with that person long-term. After I reached out, I received a very
sincere apology stating it was not intentional and was tagged in said post. And
alas, my anger and hurt subsided.
The second sign
is: “you take full responsibility for your life and where you are now.” This
reminds me of recently leaving my job. I take responsibility that the way I
left burned bridges and it could impact my employment options in the future, it
also undoubtedly changed my relationship with my supervisor with whom I had a
really strong connection. I accept responsibility that my decision to take care
of myself, physically and mentally, was more important than keeping a
peripheral connection that MIGHT benefit me in the future. In my resignation
letter, I acknowledged the way I was leaving the company would likely impact my
contact and relationship with my supervisor in the future, even though I
expressed a desire that it wouldn’t. Another example of this relates to my
recent joining of Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) and Overeater’s Anonymous (OA).
Both groups, as with all 12 step programs, emphasize personal inventory and
personal responsibility, while also acknowledging there are people in our lives
who challenge us and it is our responsibility to advocate for ourselves,
instead of letting the relationship lead our actions and we throw our hands in
the air and say “it wasn’t my fault!”
The third sign
is “you own your emotions.” This is a biggie for me as I am definitely guilty
of saying “you made me feel ____”, it’s a hard transition to say “I feel ____
because ____” because it is putting the ownness on you and when we are raw in
our emotions and feelings, allowing ourselves to become more vulnerable is
scary as fuck. It’s also tricky when you have been taught since early childhood
to not respect or listen to your feelings. Not uncommon in toxic and abusive
circumstances where the individual is feeling these intense emotions and is
being gaslit into believing they are crazy and they are unfounded. A prime
example of this is anyone who has been cheated on and had an intuition they
were being cheated, approached their partner with that concern and was told “you’re
being crazy, possessive, insecure, clingy, jealous” only to find out their gut
was right all along. This also means you are in control of your emotions,
despite what external situations might present. This can be tough, because we,
as humans, are fairly reactive. Owning your emotions expects you to be
proactive and reflective, instead of blindly reacting to circumstances.
The fourth sign
is “you practice self-love.” I told you self-care and self-love would be a vital
thread in this space. This is the feelings equivalent to putting on your own
oxygen mask on an airplane before helping someone else. This shift from
codependency to interdependence is essential in personal growth. As a codependent,
it is still quite foreign for me to put myself and my needs first. I don’t
believe it is unusual for someone like myself, who identifies with the gender I
was assigned at birth, female, to relate to this. I was raised in an environment
where the women in the family catered to the men, so I did the same. And even
when I came out as queer (in 2004) and began dating women, I still assumed that
role of caregiver, maid, therapist, childcare provider, etc. Now I have to
remind myself “I should really eat before I get involved in this project” or advocating
for myself when my partner and I have something important to discuss and
stating my needs (not discussing heavy subjects before bed and waiting for when
we’re both in the right frame of mind to have a serious discussion) instead of
telling myself “well, my partner is ready to talk about this, so I must be too.”
The fifth sign
is “you are kind. You are loving and compassionate.” I always considered myself
to be these things, but in the last 16 months, I had to really face the fact
that I was only mirroring those attributes most of the time, because I had a
laundry list of details and to-do lists I needed to get done. Now, I try as
much as I can to be honest and upfront about my availability if someone is in
need and make the time and space to be present with them, when it’s good for
both of us. I also take being kind, loving, and compassionate as ways to treat
myself, going back to self-love. I don’t believe we really take the time and
space to mirror the same kindness, love, and compassion we reserve for others
back to ourselves.
The sixth sign
is “you have a strong desire to change your life.” I think my recent job change
was the ultimate in this category. But beyond work, which most of us are
conditioned to have our lives revolve around, I feel many of us are feeling the
day to day monotony of life is not satisfying and our old go-to’s to distract
from the monotony (binge eating, drinking, binge watching Netflix, TikTok, indiscriminate
fucking) is not doing it for us anymore. In fact, there is a Demi Lovato song
called “You Don’t Do It For Me Anymore” and this morning, while I was snuggling
on the couch, trying to get ready for the day and scrolling through TikTok that
song popped into my head, because it literally wasn’t doing it for me anymore.
I wasn’t getting the same dopamine hit that I used to get and I listened to myself
and put my phone down. Something so seemingly simple speaks volumes.
The seventh sign
is: “you pull away from toxic people” and I’m going to go a step further and
say toxic people AND environments. I have had to weed through asking myself “Am
I avoiding this person/situation because I’m feeling highly sensitive today or
because this has become a toxic situation?” It’s hard being a highly sensitive
person (link in show notes for definition, there will be more discussion about
HSPs in the future) and trying to decipher if my gut is trying to protect me
from the world in general or actually toxic situations. This is where one might
notice their boundaries becoming stronger and less flexible and, possibly most
importantly, without apology. For those of us who are doormats or former
doormats, this can be extremely jarring and almost disturbing to the folx in
our lives who have gotten used to our constant availability. I can remember
years ago, when I was in grad school, practicing boundary setting for the first
time and being called mean. I was floored and the people pleaser in me didn’t
want to be perceived as mean, so I retreated and assumed my boundary was
unreasonable.
The eighth sign
is: “you have trouble sleeping.” The article goes on to say that because our
subconscious is processing so much information during this shift, that sleep
disturbances can occur. I’m going to take it a step further and say our need to
revolve our lives around an 8 hour a day work schedule, demanded by capitalism,
results is us forcing ourselves into what can be an unnatural sleep schedule
for many people. In an article (link in show notes) called Humans Used to Sleep in Two Shifts, and Maybe We Should Do It Again notes a bi-modal sleep schedule in
preindustrial Europe was the norm and was based on the need to get things done.
If there wasn’t anything to do, one slept. If we were to re-adopt this sleep
schedule, it would challenge the capitalistic sentiments of “hustling” and “I’ll
sleep when I’m dead” that are drilled into the American people solely for the
purposes of capitalistic gain and production.
The ninth sign is: “you
get rid of all your destructive habits.” This coincides well with the sixth
symptom of wanting to change one’s life. Short term gratification just doesn’t do
it for you anymore and when you do partake in things like consuming alcohol or
overeating, the impact is stronger, making it less likely you will participate in
those habits in the future. For me, a big one has been drinking alcohol. That
was always my jam. I loved my vodka and cran in my 20’s and I loved my wine in
my 30’s. But now, even a small glass of wine presents so many consequences (not
sleeping well, migraines, stomach issues, mood issues) it’s not even worth it
to me anymore. I’m also noticing a change in my desire to binge eat and when I
do binge eat, I’m consuming far less than I did even a year ago, because the
effects are immediate and very uncomfortable. I used to enjoy the discomfort of
binge eating, not so much anymore.
The tenth sign is: “you
are more productive than you’ve ever been before.” Wow, can I attest to that!
Even though I haven’t worked outside of the home in a traditional sense for over
2 weeks, the productivity is through the roof. One tool I used to track my productivity
in this non-traditional sense is to keep what I call a reverse planner. I have
a blank daily planner and instead of writing down what I should do and crossing them off, I write down what I have done. This affirms what I am already accomplishing, without having to highlight
the things I didn’t get to in a day. And no matter how low-key my day might be,
I always have a full list each day. Another example is by giving myself grace
and patience, instead of bullying myself, I want to get more done and
I do, because it’s on my time, no one else’s.
The eleventh sign
is: “you no longer feel the need to compete.” While I’ve never considered
myself a traditionally competitive person (I’ve never been involved in sports
and I’m a fair loser in board games) there tends to be an undercurrent of
competition in most, if not all, careers. In mine, because I had invested so
much time, money, and education into my chosen career field, I felt it was a
given to want to work my way up. Even though I wasn’t content in my job and
really not even content in my field, I wasn’t as aggressive as my cohorts and
now that I feel this shift, I’m even less interested. The disappointment and
ego hit of being passed up for a promotion has dissipated as I learn that wasn’t
my path to begin with and why on earth would I want more responsibilities in a
job, in a field I’m lukewarm about?
The last sign is: “you
have an immense sense of gratitude.” To be candid, my level of gratitude began
shifting exponentially when I started medicating with cannabis edibles. Because
I was experiencing my world in a new light, tastes, colors, sounds, sights all
took on more meaning and thankfully that new sense of gratitude continued even
after the pot wore off. I now notice my wife in a different light, I see her
not as someone who “is mine” but rather someone who has chosen to spend her
life with me and for that I’m grateful. I find my gratitude comes up a lot when
it pertains to nature. We recently placed 2 bird feeders outside our dining
room window and watching the birds come and go is infinitely more exciting than
anything on my phone or on tv. In the mornings, I often see rabbits and deer in
our backyard and even though this is a near daily occurrence, my reaction is
always the same: excited and childlike, full of gratitude.
I encourage you to
look in your life, your heart, yourself and see if you, too, are experiencing a
reality and spiritual shift. I believe we will be experiencing the highs and
lows of the shift for months, if not years. And if you are looking for a time that
is ripe for manifesting, intention setting, and perspective shifting, this
Sunday (Aug 8th) the New Moon is in Leo and it aligns with the star
Sirius creating a Lion’s Gate Portal. This portal is said to be one of the luckiest
times for manifestation and abundance. The added bonus of this occurring on 8.8
coincides with the angel number 888 that represents abundance and money. Go get
what is yours! The Universe is always listening.
https://linktr.ee/recoveringtrashperson
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@Melissa-McMinn-6
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***please note, transcripts are word docs I write before I
record and may not match my words exactly if I make a change off the cuff!***
References:
12 Signs That You Are Shifting To A Higher Level Of
Consciousness: https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/4578/signs-shifting-higher-level-consciousness/
Demi Lovato “You Don’t Do It For Me Anymore” official
video: https://youtu.be/QE4gNnrfftA
Humans Used to Sleep in 2 Shifts: https://www.sciencealert.com/humans-used-to-sleep-in-two-shifts-maybe-we-should-again
Lion’s Gate Portal: https://www.bustle.com/life/lions-gate-portal-luckiest-days-meaning-astrologer
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